Sundays are a funny thing

Sunday March 1st. I love the talk by F. Enzio Busche titled Unleashing the Dormant Spirit. I read it a lot during sacrament. The two things that stood out to me today were. "In your life there have to be challenges. They will either bring you closer to God and therefore make you stronger, or they can destroy you. But YOU make the decision of which road you take." and "First and foremost you are a spirit child of God. If you neglect to feed your spirit, you will reap unhappiness. Don't permit anything to detract you from this awareness." I have had some real struggles in the past few years. I was pretty lost and made quite a few mistakes. But what I never stopped doing was going to church. I don't know why except that that is what we have done on Sundays for years... I cried, I questioned, I rebelled, I prayed because sometimes it was the only thing I knew to do. One Sunday I was asked to talk in sacrament. I prepared my talk wondering if I really should be the person to give it given my current bad attitude but I prepared and gave a talk on faith. Now usually after you give a talk people are nice and they tell you they like it (but I always kinda thought it was because they were secretly happy it wasn't them that had to talk :)) but I got lots of feed back this Sunday. A few days later I received a note in the mail from a mother in our ward. She shared with me how my talk had affected her son who just happened to visit our ward that day. She shared her testimony and thanked me for sharing what her son needed to hear that day. I realized that I too could be a tool in the Lords hands and it began to change my perspective. I now see that the Lord was aware of me and my struggles and provided a way for me to learn what I needed to lean. Since then I have begun to find the peace and happiness that I know living the gospel can bring into our lives. Our testimonies truly are a roller coaster, sometimes up and sometimes down. I still make mistakes, some have been BIG I am not perfect nor will I be in this life, but I can try again and again to get it right. That's the gospel of Jesus Christ. I know I am a child of God , that He loves me and I know what I need to do to find happiness in this life. It's my choice, I can't blame it on anyone or anything else. I believed that when I joined this church I was giving my family a great gift that would benefit them for a life time and beyond. I still believe that. We are a forever family and that's means more to me than they might ever know.